Starting over after divorce is a critical time in our lives. Divorce changes everyone’s lives. It is never what we think it is going to be. Dwelling on the challenges doesn’t change them – finding a solution and emotional support sustains and gives us strength to face challenges otherwise faced by two parents. We get to choose.
Now it’s time for us to begin a new life with new adventures or the same old thing/same old results…which isn’t the opportunity for growth that we really need when we begin a new life.
What really saved me on many levels. When I was in the throes of divorce and the change of family that comes with it, was finding as many sources of support as I could. Support not just for me, but also ways that my son could feel that he wasn’t alone in what HE was feeling.
We’re not the only one’s divorcing. Children tend to feel that they too are getting a divorce, and THAT is a responsibility that does not belong to them.
So, for us, it’s best to keep a journal and not share our thoughts and feeling with our children (who are on their own path) and what works really is joining a support group or finding people that are going through the same thing either online, like I’ve created with makinglemonade.com (there are a ton of online support groups – to be found by “googling”) or find support within your own community!
You also can start your OWN support group. That is what I did – in my son’s school. We had a great turn-out of men and women who found themselves single, with kids. You can also create a group in your church, synagogue, YMCA, work place or community center.
You are not alone, and don’t have to go it alone.