You Can Never Guess the Outcome of Anything.
Divorce is just plain hard. And, much of the time it is also not fair.
Just as you can’t assume anything, nor can you guess at outcomes. You can know what your ‘best case scenario’ is, and get in touch with your ‘worst case scenario’ as well. I always seem to entertain both, so I’m ready for either to happen, however, I focus on the best outcome.
Remember what you focus on, increases. So, obsessing about all the ‘what-ifs” cannot only drive you crazy but can also put the energy into that negative thing. It’s best to stay positive – but realistic.
Life is Experi-Mental. No need to be afraid to try something new. People can get stuck in the tried-and- true, and not dare to try anything new. It’s a great experiment to entertain different thoughts about the new phase of your life after divorce and to use this phase as a leaping off point to try something new.
As scary as it may feel, there are so many opportunities out there to grow more than you ever thought you could. To help in the transition, you can hire a life coach, take a class, join a support group, or go back to school altogether. There are a lot of options, and doors open up when you make a decision to try something new. So start investigating…it’s your life!
Ouch. Just as we are doing the best WE can, so did our parents; it’s all about making the most of what we are given. The best we can do is to not feel guilty about getting divorced (especially if our parents have been married for decades) and know that this IS the best choice we can make for our kids in their growth. Even if divorce is not what we wanted, we can still make the best of it, over time, and become better people and parents!
We Can’t Blame Our Partner for OUR decisions. It’s time to remember what we do have control over. Like in the Serenity Prayer, we need to keep sight of what we are powerless over and what we have to be grateful for!
Forgive Yourself. Forgive yourself and your partner for things not working out as you or they would have liked. Not always easy, but a necessary way to live. We are the outcome of what our parent handed down to us. So many of us hear our parents’ voices in our heads,– especially when we become parents ourselves.
How many times have we have noticed that words we have said to our kids are the same words we were told by our parents!
One of my favorite quotes and a mantra for divorce is…
“Rejection is god’s protection!”