 Parents in Recovery Mirroring is the ability to give children the experience of being seen, heard and understood for how they are feel inside. When we mirror accurately, children have the internal experience of being noticed, and taken seriously.. Validating children's emotions allows them to establish their own identity, then as adults, they learn to trust their own inner voice. Like recovery, learning to mirror is a process. And like any new skill, mirroring takes time and practice to develop. At first mirroring may feel mechanical, but with practice, parents find they have learned not only a new way to interact but also a new way to listen. There is a difference between automatically parroting back children's words and taking the time to understand and reflect what it must be like to be in their emotional shoes. When parents mirror without empathy, children will feel the disparity between authenticity and empty words that are meant to express emotional understanding. As we learn how to mirror from our heart, rather than from our intellect, we feel the difference and so do our children. Adults also need skills that will give children the ability and permission to have an emotional experience that is different from their parents. These separating skills give children the feeling of being respected as a separate person, which is how they will learn to respect parents. Then, parents and children can begin the process of successfully negotiating their differences together. |