WILL I EVER BE LOVED AGAIN…DO I CARE?
By--Rich Warren

The answer to that in reverse is I do and yes, I will. The problem for the single parent is that now there is ‘baggage’ that comes with loving us. For myself, I can’t be with a woman that couldn’t love my two girls. She need not love them as I do, but neither can she merely tolerate their presence. Even if I were to wait until they were full grown and out of the house, the end result remains the same because I never want to feel I must choose between them and my new spouse. The overwhelming "need" to find someone no longer permeates my being as it did when the separation first occurred or the divorce became final.

It is alright to date. It is even necessary…but…
I believe it’s a part of the grieving process when we first become single parents that we all go through a period of doubt and drive to be coupled up again. It takes time to learn that we are whole in and of ourselves. Unfortunately, some of us never learn that fact and, instead, find unhappiness repeating itself with each new relationship. At the same time, it is an example of our healing to pick up the pieces and become part of the herd once more in search of the next - and hopefully ever lasting - true love of our life.

The way the game must be played has, solely by virtue of our new circumstances, changed. I can no longer ‘cook her a meal’ at my home on the third date to show her what a great catch I am because the effect of bringing home yet another "potential" spouse has too great of a negative effect on the children, a fact which most parents are not aware of. Sometimes the kids get attached too quickly because of their own "needs" and when we have lost our "passion" for this new person they are probably just beginning theirs. Once again we force our children to suffer the pain of loss, rejection and abandonment.

Buy Rich's Incredible ebook for single dads!