I stood in the driveway and watched as my youngest daughter drove away by herself for the very first time, having passed the driving part of her drivers license test that very morning. She had already been driving for an entire year but always with me sitting right beside her. Now, by law, my presence was no longer mandated in this part of her life. The state of California has deemed her old enough and proficient enough to drive a vehicle on the streets and highways where we lived by herself. By some queer misunderstanding on their part, they were also saying she was mature and responsible enough too. I kept wondering just when it was they had spent the time with her to find that out. Now, I was no longer needed to accompany her to make sure she didn't hit anyone or anything. I was no longer needed to make sure she remembered to look in the mirror, put on her seat belt, spend more time concerned about the road than what was playing on the radio. In short, I was no longer needed. It was a moment of excitement and pride and enormous sadness, too.

There are many landmarks in a child's life that come simultaneously with landmarks in the life of the parent. Each one, very often, a mixture of joy and sometimes tears, .trepidation and exhilaration. This was just another one of them. But unlike all of those that went before, this one carried with it a much more momentous change in our relationship. A change that can and should, never go backwards, but still is, nevertheless, a change that carries with it a portent of what the future of our relationship will now be on so many levels. Freedom/independence. That's what comes with a child, excuse, a young woman, being able to have total freedom of mobility, independence of time and space and spur of the moment decisions that are, hopefully, fraught with only pleasure and, above all, safety.

There's no more how long before we can leave dad? Why wont you drive me to store, I've just got to have "x" now or I'll die/never be happy again/be the only one???  I know you've gotten into bed and you're really, really tired, but I would really like to get a video from Blockbuster and maybe an ice cream Sundae. Don't you want to get those too, daddy? It'll only take a few minutes, pleeeeeeease???? Daddy, can you pick up "X" for me, I really need to have it now? If you go I'll even keep you company if you want even though I really should stay home and do my homework while you run this really important errand for me. Daddy, can you pick me up after the soccer game, mom says she has a last minute "thing" to do? I know its not your weekend but if you can't then I can't play in the game and this is the most important game of the entire season but, I guess its not that important if you're really too busy.