 The instinctive response........ The instinctive response to a stressful situation, which we inherited from our ancestors, is the “fight or flight” response. Either we’ll back off and run away from a perceived danger or rush headlong into the situation. Thus, moving to center means checking your reality. When faced with a confrontation, you can choose to use your intelligence and skills to overcome this instinct. Change the subject for a while. You can move yourself back to center by using the Timeout method. We aren’t stuck with fight or flight. We can actually learn how to flow with the situation. There is a wonderful Hindu proverb, “Don’t push the river.” How many times have you spent too much energy trying to control the uncontrollable? Learn to accept what is and flow with it. This is a terrific way to relieve stress. Granted, this technique requires some discipline, especially at first. Our feelings often overwhelm us, but they are our feelings -- we own them, they don’t own us. We can control our emotions. A Timeout may be a few seconds (like counting from one to ten), five minutes, an hour, “I need to sleep on that,” days, weeks or even months. Time helps us get a perspective on our problems. You decide how much time you need according to the situation. The goal of the Timeout technique is to allow enough time to shift from the tension of stress to being relaxed. Our best thinking takes place when we feel relaxed and comfortable, when we’re coming from a loving place rather than a fearful one. |