It took me many years after my divorce and journey into being a single mom to not think in terms of being a wife. That Mrs. Monogram was printed on my driver’s license, child’s school roster, credit cards and home address. It was programmed into my DNA from childhood dreams of Prince Charming and wedding fantasies. I never thought I would become an ex-Mrs.
Transitions. We’re never told how challenging the transition is from married to single. I suppose we’re programmed to take care of others and make sure our significant other is well taken care of. Some of us were raised to grow up to become someone’s wife, and then someone’s mother. We learned it in from our mothers and in school classes (like sewing and cooking). It was a logical and expected step in life to find a man to love us and marry us.
U-Turn. And when that life course takes a U-turn or that dream becomes more of a nightmare – how do we move from Mrs. to Ms. without feeling a sense of emptiness or a void in our life path. Sometimes that transition is confusing or depressing because we have always taken care of someone else; why, we were a partnership, a team and now we are thrown into a world of divorce — being single again….of taking care of us, without distraction.
In Our Own Skin. Being a parent out of a marriage is far more challenging than sharing the load and the discipline with a partner. However, as we gain strength and confidence in our abilities to master our own lives outside of a marriage, we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. In today’s world we can now rejoice in our independence and choice of being a single or a single parent.
Possibilities. Once we move through the transition and all that entails – we become freer to become who we are in our own skins. And if we are ready, and have done work on ourselves and out own healing – we can find love again.
I am woman hear me roar – but please don’t call me Mrs.