When a relationship has ended, especially badly (for one or both parts of a couple), we tend to wish ‘the other’ moved to another neighborhood or better yet – another universe. The last thing we want is to run into them. Many couples refuse to visit the same hangouts they shared together and some go as far as moving to make sure their eyes never meet up again. But, it happens; sometimes it happens when we least expect it (most unpleasant is when we look our worst). What do we do when our angry ex shows up in our space and we simply cannot ignore, nor forgive, them?
1. Remind yourself that you are not responsible for anyone’s behavior but your own.
Not unlike children, some ex’s continue bad behavior to get attention (of any kind). It’s their way of staying attached to you; it’s a quick sand way of relating. The more you struggle or fuss, the deeper you go down. Remember that you can’t take back angry words that are spoken. It’s best to keep conversations short; if need-be tell your ex you’ll email him/her if there is any conversation that needs to be had.
2. Rise above the fray.
Be the bigger, better person in the room. Take a breath and take the high road! Let your ex act like a jerk while you just count the ways you are glad they are out of your life. They are now someone else’s ‘issue’ – not yours. So, count your blessings with every word or look they give you. Stand tall as you walk away, back into your own new life.
3. Remember WHY they are your EX!
Take a stroll down memory lane and recall the relationship and why you left it (or it left you). Rejoice in all you learned from that relationship; other people are our teachers. Think of the strength and boundaries you learned and the wisdom you earned! Celebrate YOU!
4. Don’t say anything you’ll regret.
Go home and write a letter you’ll never mail! It’s always best to get those angry or hurt emotions OUT of your body and onto paper. Take great pleasure in writing a letter to your ex – expressing ALL of your feelings. Then, share it with a close friend of just burn it and experience a sense of freedom and strength. You’ve earned it!