How do we really know when is the right time to say good-bye when a marriage or relationship is no longer working for us…especially when there are children involved?
The Children Know. Experts and psychologists have varying answers depending on the circumstances, it makes sense these days not to stay for the children. Parents seem to think children don’t sense or hear what’s going on in a non-functioning relationship – but they do. Hearing what children think would really blow the minds of parents who have little or no idea how smart their kids are. If we ever took the time to literally ask them possible solutions to a challenge we were having – we would be amazed at how brilliant their suggestions are. I’m not saying use your child as a friend for advice or counseling…what I am saying is please don’t under-estimate your child when it comes to thinking you are successful at hiding household problems from them.
Time Zone. Letting go is important in many situations that no longer work, when we let go – we can allow something else to come in. It is important to heal in the time between the letting go and accepting something new; we do not want to jump from one relationship to another – for many reasons. We are our children’s role models and we want to keep them feeling safe and secure in our love and our place for them in our lives. As fragile as children are, they are also more resilient…sometimes more than we are!
Support is Key. When is the right time to let go of a marriage or an important relationship and move on? You have to trust yourself in the knowledge and make sure you have a support system intact to support you through some of the dark tunnels you’ll be traveling through. Having a buddy system or support group is always important during transitions.
Love Your Life. Get yourself a life coach or another person going through a divorce or separation that you can share the experiences with. It is very important to have support for you and even your children. It is also quite important to have a life you love and not stay in a situation that no longer works for you.
My Morning Prayer:
“Thank you for everything you have given me and everything you have taken away.”