Divorce can be quite intense on many levels. You have to think about lifestyle, history, promises, and the future. Divorce is spoken about as a “business”.
I never saw it through those eyes, but looking back I wish I would have looked at it more that way; men are better at that viewpoint than women usually. Sorry guys, but we are typically the nurturer. Not so much these days as men tend to be juggling more.
If you use a litigator, it is important NOT to use your lawyer as a therapist. Many people swear going to a mediator is the best solution – IF you and your son-to-be-ex can speak and hear each other clearly, through any present anger or resentment. If you can’t entertain the thought of a mediator working with you in a collaborative style, then please go to a psychologist or a best friend, sort through your feelings BEFORE you see an attorney.
Money that you don’t need to spend telling your emotional story while the clock is ticking in big buck numbers. I love the idea of mediation….it seems to be a win-win philosophy that I adhere to at this stage of my life. My son has turned into quite the mediator – I suppose from watching his parents fighting over the years.
It seems silly to outsiders when parents can’t come to a simply solution; however when emotions come into the picture, with unresolved issues – people tend to act out. It’s like bullies do; or hormonally-challenged teenagers….or divorcing couples.
It’s a challenge to take a breath and see the future without fear of being alone, or getting ‘screwed’ in a divorce. It tends to push all of our buttons, whether we’re a man or a woman. No body wants to feel that has “lost”.
It’s time to see divorce as a next stage, as a win-win…and the challenge is allowing both partners to come away at winners.
Look at where you are right now and how you can make the other person win at something. There is plenty of fighting in the world right now….be a winner!